Forgiveness

Apologies...

Healthy apologies continue to instill trust in those we wish to have relationship with, it not only heals the hurt we are apologizing for, it creates more trust and resiliency within the relationship. It creates more positive history in the relationship, and deepens authenticity and feelings of safety and acceptance. As a result there is a relaxing within the relationship as acceptance increases, thus leading to a decrease in defensiveness, hiding, fear, and offense. The heart of apologizing is admission of wrong doing and progressing past it. 

While there is not the regular use of "apology" in the Bible, it does say much about healing, having unity of mind, restoration, and admission of sin: which are true forms of "apologizing". 

"Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” (1 Peter 3:8-12, ESV)

"Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you." (2 Corinthians 13:11, ESV)

"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:17-21, ESV)

More about forgiveness is noted than apologies. Maybe it's because forgiving is a part of understanding how to apologize. 

Our show on apologizing is on the site and so are many other shows that help us develop a healthy abundant life. 

Let us know your thoughts! Leave comments below. 

Forgiveness: Part 2 It's Too Risky Not To

We know from science and Biblical law that the unforgiveness of others will develop into cancer and poisonous applications both literally and figuratively. Forgoing the forgiveness of others is a form of torture where we are lamenting and perhaps recreating offenses over and over instead of healing and moving forward mentally and spiritually. It is an extremely unhealthy preoccupation. It says in Matthew 18:23-25 that you (the one who does not forgive) will be turned to the torturers! Not only are we torturing ourselves but we will be turned thrown to them either way. Do we want to endure this cycle for our own pride? Our own sense of entitlement to lord over others? For our own pleasure? Is it really worth it? Is it working? Are you healing? 

Again, with the risk being so high physically, spiritually, and mentally is it worth the constant replay? Is begrudging someone feel like a win? Instead of the anguish, let us forgive as we have been forgiven and avoid the reality unforgiveness can cause. 

How do we then forgive? It is not always easy and perhaps we do not "want" to, but we must. WE simply must. It really can be done in 3 steps: 

1. We make the choice. We choose to forgive as we have been forgiven. If the "feeling" doesn't come, choose anyway. God promises to heal you and your heart. 

2. We depend on God to help us do it. He is always listening to our cries for help. 

3. We obey the Bible. 

Do this and you will be well. Do this and you will have peace. Listen to the show for more on this issue and a more in depth discussion.